ZOMG NEW HOUSE!!!!1!

As you may or may not know, Tie and I have been enjoying the excitement of house buying and all that jazz and today, FINALLY, after braving the retarded solicitors, pushy estate agents and living in a big messy boxy shithole... We have our house, some of you will have seen in on the estate agent site, but these are pictures taken in the gloom today when we picked up the keys *hops squeals and bounces*

(WARNING: This post is VERY LONG and full of pictures, enjoy!)
(WARNING #2: I can't take photos, kkthnx)


So this is the outside of the new Broadly Offensive HQ. The sky was particularly dark and aggressive, as prolly were the neighbours.



This is my cooker, it came with the house and I reckon you could fit a cat in there, if not a child. I'll let you all know how that pans out.

Here is a picture of Replacement Tie. Replacement Tie stays hidden until needed, cleverly disguising itself as cupboards until you have some plates or something. Also, Replacement Tie does not require an endless stream of coffee which is a bonus. I'm not entirely sure Replacement Tie will be as adept in the boudoir, but as before, I shall let you know.


Look, I have no bloody clue what to call this, is it a breakfast bar? Is it a dining area, WHO KNOWS? I call it a table personally. You can also see the doors leading to small childs room and the study....


This will be the home of our pooters, sat side by side, bitching at each other. Not shown is the candlestick or Professor Plum.

Small childs room, small child is delighted with the overly girly mural thinger as am I. I'm sure it will last for a few years until she paints it all black and emos quietly out of the window.

Other side of small childs room with TEDDY BEAR SHELVES.. Oh yes.

Small child claims this is 'her' bathroom, but sadly she does not realise the effect of a jacuzzi bath on certain individuals (me)

Look! Jacuzzi bath!

Here is more kitchen which leads to utility room and other bed like rooms. Tie and I have concocted a fabulour plan to make bottles of blue nun look like dusty vintage wines on the wine rack, huzzah!

Not a shoe room, but a utility room, with a belfast sink, which is THE SEX ON FIRE, oh yes! I've wanted one of the bad boys since forever so YAY!

MY SINK! And a small lesson in what happens when you say "Don't get in the picture"

The stair complete with a gateway to hell. Little fact for you, you can fit 3 children in that space and I can well see 'What can we fit in the hole?' becoming a staple of this blog

Back end of the front room/lounge, not exciting but I don't do house showings by halves you know.
Milk Tray mans entrance.

Our room, white and boring really. Although BDSM bed in on route (in 8-10 weeks -.-)

Ensuite door and walk in wardrobe, which is actually walk in and has a clever light and everything. Also known as 'Best hiding place after the stair hole'
I have a feng shui sink, go me. Also, the people who were moving out left bog rolls with little points on which made me squee.

Walk in wardrobe.

Up the stairs with have another child room. The top of the house is basically just for my elder children, with their own bathroom so I don't have to deal with waiting outside the door during one of their epic 'sit on the toilet for as long as possible to piss mummy off' things.

View from the pink room, it's very grey but I assure you that is the sea in the background.

Child bath.

Child sink with funktastic glass block things.

Blue room, it's blue. And now for the outside...

Decking with little lights and poles for 'entertaining'

Willis and Laura's tree house!

I expect you both to decorate this!

A green house, may actually house plants at somepoint

Vegetable garden... Ditto.

So there is our new home.

Fin

My Wife the Clever Bunny

Now I know I jest a lot about Tie's occasional bouts of silliness but I do love her very very much and think she is more awesome than a bagful of hybrid otters.

So this is just me going LOOK HOW COOL MY WIFE IS by showing you pictures (and a video) of her last build, although to be perfectly honest I could have just shoved in a picture of her arse cos she just radiates epicness.

Anyhoo


The whole thing is a seaside village, as you can see from the picture at the top, except it's got all these little walkways and steps hidden amidst the houses. Meaning you can get lost (I did, repeatedly -.-)


I loved these steps and the dock which is why I took many many photos of them.


Annoyingly enough this is for someone else, I don't get to live here *cries*


Woot for windlight!


This one was taken with shadow viewer, although I can't take proper snapshots and have to do print screens so ignore the sucky quality!


Shadow Viewer again

Steps in shadow viewer



Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand the video.

Playing with Windlight

For ages I had sulked about people taking super awesome pictures of places and when I went there the places/I sucked. So I thought "Meh", and decided to take my withered photoshop skills and hide them in a box to be forgotten. Then I remembered Torley had made a buttload of windlight presets and decided to have a play.

Now I'm not saying there wasn't some sort of awesome photoshoppery, but in some cases you can see that they'd just used some pleasing presets. One of the problems however is that there is a huge selection of presets, and it's hard work going through them all. So I'm mostly writing this for me to remember but you can all look at it too cos I'm nice like that!

All these were taken at Error, cos it's a bloody lovely sim and has lots of water which is helpful.



Up first, Holy Romance sky setting and Subtleties in the water. Kinda of a generic purty sunset thang.
This is Das Fog and Coral Reef, it looks kind of bleak and windswept, but with awesome reflections in the water (oh I should say, scuse me for sticking my arse in all the pictures, but I was lazy and lagged and couldn't be bothered to move)


This one is all alien and mystic, you can almost see Mulder and Scully burrowing in the undergrowth like voles. Obtained using Metal Gear Solid and Meridian Verde.

Fairytale Glow and Subtleties, I prefer hazier settings, and FG is very crisp, but it does look farkin cool. Would also work well with Ice-Like...

Which is seen here in combination with Use On Fine Ships. Ice-Like is prolly my favourite preset. You can get some really cool walking on clouds sort of looks with sky settings like Pink Sink and Peach Peche.


This one is Ice-Like with Purple Wisps and Egg Yolk (names ftw)


If you've ever used these settings you'll prolly have noticed most of them don't work very well on avatars, bleaching them and making them look like they're in a microwave. So I went through the whole list to try and find some cool ones.


From left to right: Evil Machinery, Planet Xmas, Phlogiston, Pale Incabon and Holy Romance.

Some of these are pure arty, Evil Machinery looks like crazy popart, Planet Xmas is green, very green. And kinda bronzy in a green way. Phlogiston would be good for darkened silhouettes. With slivers of light on the edges. Pale Incabon is just very nice soft light to look pretty in. Also loving the light with Holy Romance, kind of a stripper setting (I think about stuff in terms of strippers, ok?)


Set 2 from left to right: Ramshaguld, Rimmerthal, Sky as Canvas, Das Fog and Deep Blue Sky 2.
Ramshaduld looks like you're standing by a bofire on a very dark night, in world it even flickers which looks very very cool. Rimmerthal in my small opinion would be great with really bright clothing or if you love playing with contrast, SaC is another stripper one and Das Fog works the same as Ana Lutetia's Studio 2 Whiter setting which if you don't have you are FAIL. Deep Blue Sky looks very cold, which I like.


Last Set left to right (again): Farmotropic Sepia, Where Were, Slips Through Walls 6 and Climacontravasty.
FS is another good contrast one, although less darker than previous although can be iffy on faces, Where Were is another stripper one but more vibrant. STW6 is just crazy funk and Climawotsit has a really nice bronze effect on the bewblies, so go and take pictures of your tits.

If anyone has any ossm settings please let me know, I love playing with this stuff!

(Oh and here's a >> link << to Torleys settings if you don't have them!)

Is cupid ok?

Some aeons ago a male friend of mine helped (made) me join an online dating site for shits and giggles. After whiling away the time doing quizzes such as The Slut Test (64%) The Whore Test (80% Whore) and Disturbing Movies (100%), I promptly forgot about the whole thing and ignored it from that day forth.

Last night when speaking to that same friend, I went to poke at it and lo I discovered various lovely emails addressed to my good self. I would particularly like to share one here:

here i go first chat and i am in your bad books befor i start however i do need to ask you this i see you talk about going out on fridays drinking a lot having lots of girly fun with your friends it must be hard for you seeing there is no good guy in your life this is where i get in to your bad books who look after you kid when out every friday night , is it no guy keeps with you as you have a kid , and are you running away at night on a friday hopping you find a nice guy who like you for who you are in life with a kid , i feel it must be so hard for you in life at this time having no one to go home too but just your kid . can i say this to you why not remove the bit about going out each friday seeing you got a kid i say this as my sister who is 35 yers old dose this and it is not good for the kids she has 2 girls 7 the other 11 . if you wish to find a good nice guy on here just say when you can you like to go out on a friday and have fun seeing you have a kid or 2 this way it show you have things right by saying what you have it gives the wrong out look of you i am only happing you here ok

Charming no? Having spent much time guffawing over this, my friend decided to send a little message to my would be suitor. While I don't have the exact message I know it went something along the lines of 'wanting to explore my curiousity with an older gentleman'. Hey, I never said we were mature.

Anyhoo fast foward to this morning, and I had a little missive lurking in my dating site inbox, Mr Overly Concerned About Children had obviously noticed I'd visited his profile (stupid me) and wanted to connect... Again.

hi kitty sometime ago i sent email to you . i understand there would be lots of guys you send emails to your self i hope you with good resons that is . we all act in away bad some times we talk but do not mean it we all can act with words not nice that is with others around us i do my self . we cant like all . and even the ones we like and love can get hurt by us in words , however when we do like some one we like we can hurt them but this should not stop us likeing them or being in love with who they are . so you up set people in life we all do that . to others around us do we not . any way i see you had a look at my page i have to say i had to change it why it is this i had a guy as to get to know me . i cant beleave this guy was looking at my page when i am only in to women girls that is . i feel so ill over it . that a guy feels i am in to men even when it says on my page i like women only . that is it on this so how about a chat on here who knows we may just find friends at first and if we do get on my be more i do hope we can talk to each other more al the best ken hope yopu hve a noce day with the kids

Aside from the obvious fact that I had been very clearly rumbled, if you didn't think I was particularly evil after my last post you'll certainly have thought twice now eh?

Toodles

Gullibles Travels

Just to set the scene... Tie had just returned bulging with joy at having bought many many many skins at Curio.

[12:29] Kitty Lalonde waves at you
[12:29] Kitty Lalonde: Are you skint again now?
[12:29] Tiernan Serpentine: Mmhmm
[12:29] Kitty Lalonde sighs
[12:29] Tiernan Serpentine: Hehe
[12:29] Kitty Lalonde: Whatever am I to do with you
[12:30] Tiernan Serpentine: You could buy me many presents
[12:30] Kitty Lalonde: I could
[12:30] Tiernan Serpentine thinks
[12:30] Kitty Lalonde: But I have to go to cake
[12:30] Tiernan Serpentine: FINE
[12:30] Kitty Lalonde: They just released new skins
[12:30] Tiernan Serpentine: WHAT?!
[12:30] Kitty Lalonde: Right at the top of the feed
[12:30] Tiernan Serpentine breaks down in tears
[12:30] Kitty Lalonde: They look ossm too
[12:30] Tiernan Serpentine: Oh christ
[12:30] Kitty Lalonde bites her lip
[12:30] Tiernan Serpentine: on extendable crutches
[12:31] Tiernan Serpentine: Can you teepee me when you get there please?
[12:31] Kitty Lalonde: No, I don't think that's very fair on you
[12:31] Kitty Lalonde: Cos they're also on sale
[12:31] Tiernan Serpentine curses the day some numpty decided that system skins just weren't good enough
[12:31] Tiernan Serpentine: WHAT!
[12:31] Kitty Lalonde: Half price for ONE DAY ONLY
[12:31] Kitty Lalonde: And buy one get one free
[12:31] Tiernan Serpentine shouts: WHAT?!!?!!!11!!!!
[12:31] Kitty Lalonde: On fatpacks
[12:31] Tiernan Serpentine: TAKE ME THERE
[12:31] Kitty Lalonde: NO!
[12:32] Kitty Lalonde: IT'S FOR THE BEST!
[12:32] Tiernan Serpentine: RIGHT THIS INSTANT
[12:32] Kitty Lalonde: Go yourself
[12:32] Kitty Lalonde: BUMDER
[12:32] Tiernan Serpentine goes
[12:32] Kitty Lalonde: You know I'm lying right?

Tie tp's away (to Cake)

[12:32] IM: Tiernan Serpentine: SLAG

Edited to add

[12:50] Willow Caldera: I don't see the cake skins *cries*
[12:53] Kitty Lalonde: ...
[12:54] Willow Caldera: I don't!
[12:54] Kitty Lalonde: I seriously thought Tie was merely playing along
[12:54] Willow Caldera: oh arse
[12:54] Kitty Lalonde: I don't believe you
[12:54] Willow Caldera: I just got to the bottom of the post
[12:54] Kitty Lalonde: ...
[12:55] Willow Caldera: I read right to the last two lines
[12:55] Willow Caldera: and tpd over there to rez while i finished

The All American Challenge

Taking the boundaries of pervesion out of the metaverse is something I enjoy. A previous blog post of What's in my bag? will show you a small part of my sizable collection. Anyhoo, today I got something new and exciting that I've wanted for a VERY long time (Love you Tie!) and I thought I'd share my new addition with you!


Called The Great American Challenge this thing is obscenely big.. I mean huge. I really hope the posty didn't peer inside the box...


Just for verification, that's a two litre bottle of lemonade next to it. I was going to put it next to the cat as a comparison but it ran off (the cat, not the dildo, although if the dildo does try to run off I'm not going to be the one that gets in it's way).

And now I'm going to sit and stare at it in a nervous eye twitching manner.

kkthnxbai