Walkers World Cup!

Recently (ish) Walkers (UK crisp manufacturer) unleashed some new flavours on the unsuspecting british public. I say unsuspecting, I didn't know about it cos I live under a rock but anyhoo. During this weeks shop I remember various plurks about the new flavours and decided to test them all out in a experimental style with points and comments and everything. People involved in the proceedings were Me, Tie and children numbers 1,2 and 3. However we realised at the time of writing we had missed 3 countries (They must have been sold out, but we shall add them in at a later date).

Broadly Offensive's world cup debris scattered across the 'pitch'

First of all we had Guessing The Country game with much confusion and complaining that "They all taste like salt and vinegar" (Tie) and occasional whimpering. Things got very competitive with much changing answers but eventually Tie won with 4/12 and Child Number 2 was second with 1/12. Everyone else failed or wasn't taking part (I was the referee and setter upperer and child 3 was being stroppy)

Everyone was involved in the point scoring part. Trying to be fair and all we gave each crisp selection a vote of 1-5 (1 being rubbish) based on it tasting like what it oughta and general taste. It should be noted that child number 3 is very small and gave everything a 5.

American Cheeseburger

This one looked like it might be an early favourite, with my McDonalds loving brood "It's oversalted and crunchy like a big mac" said Tie, but sadly for the American team it was a poor start to the proceedings.
Kitty: 4
Tie: 3
Child 1: 3
Child 2: 2
Child 3: 5

Brazilian Salsa

Tangy and tomato-y was unpopular with Tie claiming it to be "Roast Chicken" and I compared it to "Licking a pig"... Don't ask how I know this.

Kitty: 2
Tie: 2
Child 1: 3
Child 2: 5
Child 3: 5

Argentinian Flame Grilled Steak

Tie continued to prove to be lacking in tastebuds by claiming this was also chicken. Steak just didn't live up to a decent standard for the majority of my carnivore lot.
Kitty: 3
Tie: 3
Child 1: 3
Child 2: 5
Child 3: 5

Italian Spagetti Bolognaise

Tasting more like a bolognaise made with Dolmio *scoffs* than a proper spag bol this one didn't get a lot of attention.

Kitty: 3
Tie: 2
Child 1: 3 Child 2: 4
Child 3: 5

Spanish Chicken Paella

Oh. My. God. This was baaaaaaaaaad... In an unmummy like fashion I blurted out "Fuck me that's rank" whilst dithering other whether spitting it out was a bad thing. Other exclaimations around the table. Tie said "It tastes like paella, but paella that's three weeks old and scraped off the back of a dog" (Tie actually said "dock" but I misheard and anyway dog sounded funnier). All this cemented spains place as 'a nasty'. Even small child didn't like it "But was giving it 5 anyway". She's very forgiving to potato based snacks.

Kitty: 1
Tie: 1 Child 1: 1
Child 2: 1
Child 3: 5

French Garlic Bread

I'm suspicious that our delight and love for the garlic bread was due to it removing the appalling taste of the spanish effort but this one was loved by all (It was the first pile to go during the country guessing)

Kitty: 5
Tie: 5
Child 1: 5
Child 2: 5 Child 3: 5

Dutch Edam

Aside from my woeful geography knowledge and complete lack of understanding as to what Dutch actually is in regards to a country the Edam was "Nice and cheesy but not Edam" in spite of the dude at the shop telling me that his girlfriend was agog with the fact it tasted like edam.

Kitty: 4
Tie: 5
Child 1: 3
Child 2: 2
Child 3: 5

English Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding

To be perfectly honest the whole yorkshire pud element messed this up for england which was like a beef flavoured crisp with something nasty on it.

Kitty: 1
Tie: 2
Child 1: 1
Child 2: 4
Child 3: 5

German Bratwurst Sausage

In my humble opinion this should have been the england entry but that is merely my small view. It did taste very sausagey but not specifically german.

Kitty: 2
Tie: 3 Child 1: 1
Child 2: 1
Child 3: 5

Australian BBQ Kangeroo

I think we were all a bit bored of crisps at this point because this crisp launched a discussion on why it should have been barbequed koala bear. That and the fact it tasted much like the steak. Needless to say the points awarded we all a bit vague...

Kitty: 3
Tie: 3
Child 1: 3
Child 2: 4 Child 3: 5

South African Chutney

I have no clue what this should have tasted like but it was quite tomato-y again and Tie liked it very much.
Kitty: 4
Tie: 5
Child 1: 2
Child 2: 4
Child 3: 5

Japan Teriyaki Chicken

Clearly geographical stupidity runs in the family because this crisp started a debate about china not being in the list with Tie claiming their non appearance probably due to the fact they're not very good at football. Then everyone buggered off in a bored fashion or started asking for clubs.

Kitty: 2 Tie: 3
Child 1: 2
Child 2: 4
Child 3: 5

The Winner

With 25/25 points the clear winner was French Garlic Bread, so grats to france.

Motorway Fun

Above is a lovely picture of the M5 motorway in the UK, it goes from Exeter in Devon to... Somewhere else.. Anyhoo, Tie and I have driven this motorway many many times including today. Not specifically very interesting but bear with me. These are some amusing games that we play on the motorway.

Pissing people off - Fairly self explanatory, mostly involves not moving out of the way and preventing people overtaking other people. Also two lane overtaking, not pissing people off particularly but entertaining none the less.

Pick three cars - You have as long as you are on the motorway to pick 3 cars that you want. Today I picked a new Ford Ka, driven by a little old lady, which Tie claims broke down. A big fancy horse box thinger, lest there were hugely expensive thoroughbreds in there and a big thick throbbing Triumph with a back wheel width that was, well wide. Oh the noise that thing made *wistful sigh*.
Tie picked some giant camper van/palace on wheels, two random tankers (contents unknown) and the bike because it was the most awesome thing on the motorway.

Laughing at people - We were following a lil hatchback thing and listening to radio 1, then I noticed that the passenger of the LHT was flailing their arms around in a pretty good approximation of old school rave dancing (big fish little fish cardboard box). I pointed it out to Tie and then we noticed Faithless Insomnia was playing on Radio 1. Just before the anthemic kick off (which never fails to make the old hairs stand up) I said, he's going to dance again now... And he did, good times I tell you.

Playing 'games' with other cars - Tie mocks me continuously for this, but you can play little chasey games with other cars (on clear stretches at least) overtaking each other and general malarky. I find it fun and amusing, Tie claims it's all in my head and that the other cars are unaware they're playing a game, but it's NOT TRUE. They all know about it and enjoy it too.

DJ Chigadee - Not a game, but a random thought of how to update road safety adverts/programs. DJ Chigadee (Tie's choice of name btw) would appear on a massive billboard that BLINGS with the huge slogan "Chigidee check yourself before yo wreck yourself". The billboard would also shout this at people that were driving badly (Tie). DJ Chigidee would also shout "Driving when you is tired is whack, get some sleep aight". He would prolly sound a bit like Tim WESTWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

Yes we are mad.

We love Gok

We love Gok's Fashion Fix on channel 4, and it always inspires Second Life dress up shenanigans. So we decided to do our own 'Fashion Face Off.


We decided on two categories, Working Girl, and Red Carpet Glamour. From left to right we have ME (Kitty hehe) taking the words 'Working Girl' a bit too far followed by Tie doing things properly. Then ish me again looking surprisingly subtle while Tie aims for full length see through glory.. The SLUT.

Anyhoo, added a poll for people to click on cos I like polls and I've never had one (You can prolly expect one of these once a week now).

Have fun!

Feeling Frisky?

As you all may or may not know, I quite enjoy the dirtier side of Second Life, I outed myself on the Mean Girls sometime ago but I never really speak on what I get up to as such. Now, however, I feel I ought in the pursuit of hilarity.

Tie had been whimpering softly in a passive aggressive fashion about not being dominated horribly, so I decided that to get over this she we should play SLopoly for a while.

However, everytime I had to pay rent to Tie I made a demand of her, such as getting her to name her fantasies, and then people on her friends list she'd have sex with... Oh and then making her IM them her fantasy (I r ebil). This went on for some time (I r shit at SLopoly) and culminated in her joining a lovely group called Slut's for Use, and then IMing said group this little missive.

[14:03] Tiernan Serpentine: I'm a female with light blue eyes, very dark brunette hair. Smaller natural breasts, ones with perky, suckable nipples that get very hard with arousal. My cunt is shaved and very tight. So tight that you'll have to push with all your strength to fist me. I love animal sex, humiliation and public nudity. Please IM me because from the moment I set eyes on you you'll make me so incredibly horny that pretty soon I'm either going to have to go to bed with you or go to the doctor for a serious heart condition.

And the moral of this story? Don't play with me cos I be mean.

PS - Sadly for Tie her plea for sex fell on deaf ears and she didn't get a single reply.

STOLEN!!!!!

From the delicious Miss Zander



To be perfectly honest, I don't think it's anything worse than most people expected....

Ok ok, still simboarding, sorry!

Kittens will be on their way soon, but.... I has found something new! (Well, Coley found it, but I be blogging it) Anyhoo, tis called simboarding, and it has to be the coolest thing ever, not crappy jerky skateboards from other places but this thing is smoother than a metal dildo, faster than said dildo on a porn set, and slicker than the floor afterwards (I be horny, you shush now).

You can do the half pipe and get air on this thing! Actual air, not floating off miles away and ending up in a tree, oh no. You go up, you turn round, you come back down, just like a proper sk8or yo! Also you can 'pimp' your board, although I found that my board didn't appreciate being thrown at the denizens of hard alley in a mini skirt, so I settled for making a lil design for it in PS... Fnar fnar.


So, you should all go and get one and we can all while away the wee hours zooming and whooshing up and down and making up excitering lingo. Bodacious! *coughs*

Also, I had a thought for a meme (murhahahahaha) but I cannae remember it now, and I have a "how to get laid in SL (maybe)" hud thing to explain about. I'm sorta tempted to plop it on the fashion feed, but I'd rather jam a cheesegrater up my arse so maybe not.

Huzzah!

Scawwy

I was perusing I Am Bored the other day and it contained a link to The 10 Most Terrifying Video Game Enemies of All Time.

Being the video game fangirl that I am I had to take a peek, and whilst I agreed with a couple I thought the list was, well, a bit lame. So here is my own personal list of 5 least favourite thingies in pooter games.

5 - Sonic the Hedgehog.

Yeah, it was in the original list, but it was true, that fucking music that started up with the oh so cheesily fonted countdown timer on screen instantly caused "Oh my fucking god where's the bubbles? I need to get out NOW" hysterics.

4 - Resident Evil 2

The game was full of nasty things but was my favouritest of all the Resi's. God knows how many times I played it through to get some sort of quick time completion thingy. Things however got interesting when you unlocked the second stories. All very fun until helicopters started dropping flashing mac giant men. Who would stomp down the corridor in a mindless fashion intent on bludgeoning you to death with their big meaty fists. Bastards.

3 - T Rex from Tomb Raider

This one was a complete shock. I remember skipping quite cheerfully through the huge valley having dispatched the cheeky raptors with style and grace (jump and shoot ftw) when with no prior warning the biggest badly rendered lizard EVER stomps into view and promptly devours you, leaving you gibbering quietly at the screen and refusing to ever go back there.

2 - Silent Hill

I was kinda shocked by the lists complete lack of Silent Hill beings, while it was mostly the overall atmosphere of the game that left you pondering your sanity the monsters were mostly indistinguishable blobs with sharp bits. The ones that messed with my head the most were the black babies, or Larval Stalkers, to give them their proper name. These little blighters stalked the corridors of the school, didn't hurt you but made your radio go insane and squeaked in a wholly disturbing fashion at you. I actually couldn't sleep without the light on after them.

In joint first - Forbidden Siren and Warlock of Firetop mountain

Forbidden Siren was one of my blockbuster rental jobs, I had this game for 2 days and it was a love hate relationship. I loved it because it was very very well made, and had loads of clever little touches, however I hated it because it was FUCKING SCARY. You had this ability to see throught the eyes of the monster, when you could see what they were seeing you knew how you could sneak round them, useful as you'd foolishly been given no weapons. All very well and good until you see through the eyes of one who is looking at a hedge, and is making horrible guttaral breathing grunty noises. Then you skip round and they charge at you making more excited noises and then knock you over and eat/violate your near dead body. Nasty.

Warlock was one of the first games I ever played. It was on the spectrum and consisted of a map filled with pixellated spiders and little purple things. I doubt anyone else in the world has played it but it was fiendishly addictive. The plan was you'd run into rooms collecting keys and then go and fight a warlock kill him, open the chest, and escape... Apart from the fact that the warlock was the biggest cunt in the world and you didn't know which room he was in, and would often happen upon by mistake and get your arse handed to you. He was pure evil and I never ever managed to slay the little bastard, a sad fact that still haunts me today.

Teh Warlock!