I have just returned from the shittest school concert known to man. Now a lot of you nice people out there will be aghast at me claiming the sweet and innocent voices of youth is shit. But hear me out. I have no problem with the children, the songs they sang were wonderful and I could listen to them for ages... When they got to sing that is. Cos oh no, they're head master in his infinite wisdom used the school christmas concert as a show case for him and his wife to bestow the poor parents with their karaoke stylee renderings of the crappest songs of yesteryear.
Seriously, this man would have been most likely welcomed at your average old fuckers working mens club, or perhaps a sagaish holiday camp where the patrons shorten each others lives pretending to be Frank Sinatra singing from inside a tuba. But no, this was a SCHOOL CONCERT. And his warbling wife... Puhlease... Love, you may have missed a glittering career in operatic singing due to the fact that you generally sucked at it, but that's no reason to take it out on the rest of us.
As I sat there wondering whether I could will my liver to implode thus allowing me to escape the cruelest of tortures I had a fleeting glimpse into the lives of these people, how their poor relatives most be tortured at family celebrations. Although they're prolly all fucked up and join in.
So in summary, school concerts are for school children and NOT for teachers who want to sing Neil fucking Sedaka.