Is cupid ok?

Some aeons ago a male friend of mine helped (made) me join an online dating site for shits and giggles. After whiling away the time doing quizzes such as The Slut Test (64%) The Whore Test (80% Whore) and Disturbing Movies (100%), I promptly forgot about the whole thing and ignored it from that day forth.

Last night when speaking to that same friend, I went to poke at it and lo I discovered various lovely emails addressed to my good self. I would particularly like to share one here:

here i go first chat and i am in your bad books befor i start however i do need to ask you this i see you talk about going out on fridays drinking a lot having lots of girly fun with your friends it must be hard for you seeing there is no good guy in your life this is where i get in to your bad books who look after you kid when out every friday night , is it no guy keeps with you as you have a kid , and are you running away at night on a friday hopping you find a nice guy who like you for who you are in life with a kid , i feel it must be so hard for you in life at this time having no one to go home too but just your kid . can i say this to you why not remove the bit about going out each friday seeing you got a kid i say this as my sister who is 35 yers old dose this and it is not good for the kids she has 2 girls 7 the other 11 . if you wish to find a good nice guy on here just say when you can you like to go out on a friday and have fun seeing you have a kid or 2 this way it show you have things right by saying what you have it gives the wrong out look of you i am only happing you here ok

Charming no? Having spent much time guffawing over this, my friend decided to send a little message to my would be suitor. While I don't have the exact message I know it went something along the lines of 'wanting to explore my curiousity with an older gentleman'. Hey, I never said we were mature.

Anyhoo fast foward to this morning, and I had a little missive lurking in my dating site inbox, Mr Overly Concerned About Children had obviously noticed I'd visited his profile (stupid me) and wanted to connect... Again.

hi kitty sometime ago i sent email to you . i understand there would be lots of guys you send emails to your self i hope you with good resons that is . we all act in away bad some times we talk but do not mean it we all can act with words not nice that is with others around us i do my self . we cant like all . and even the ones we like and love can get hurt by us in words , however when we do like some one we like we can hurt them but this should not stop us likeing them or being in love with who they are . so you up set people in life we all do that . to others around us do we not . any way i see you had a look at my page i have to say i had to change it why it is this i had a guy as to get to know me . i cant beleave this guy was looking at my page when i am only in to women girls that is . i feel so ill over it . that a guy feels i am in to men even when it says on my page i like women only . that is it on this so how about a chat on here who knows we may just find friends at first and if we do get on my be more i do hope we can talk to each other more al the best ken hope yopu hve a noce day with the kids

Aside from the obvious fact that I had been very clearly rumbled, if you didn't think I was particularly evil after my last post you'll certainly have thought twice now eh?

Toodles

Bah!

I was sitting around quite happily and obsessively refreshing new plurks when one from Iris Seale caught my eye. She was asking for thoughts and opinions on The Deeb House, a prefab house made by, amongst others, Asri Falcone. Normally I'd have looked at the pictures and gone "Nice house" and left it at that. But this house is sold for the bargain price of L$18,995.

Now while I freely admit to never buying a house in SL (pet builder ftw) I wanted to see how the rich side live so I duely tp'd off to check it out. I tentatively entered (dude, 19k is a lotta lindens and I didn't want to be paying for damages!) and yeah, from the get go it looks ok. Nothing initially screams to me that it's worth it's 19k nice cos I'm cheap, but nice nonetheless. It's laid out like an episode of cribs and has a realistic feel to it, everythings all in proportion and show homey.

Right, compliments done, lets bring out the bitch. I prewarn you that while all these issues are niggly things, teeny tiny little things that most people will (and prolly do) overlook, I'm a picky fucker and if you want me to spend in the area of £50 quid on a virtual house, it should really be £50's worth of house. It should be the pride and joy of the creator and not look like someones gone "Oh fuck it" towards the end and buggered off to play SLopoly.

I'm not going to go to list every single nitpick here because I haven't bought it, I'm not that stupid, and don't really have much right to, but gappy prims, misaligned textures and a freebie door script which tells you you're at the door (I fucking know, I opened it didn't I?) and plays the same sound for every single door in the place. Well that sort of thing could drive a girl crazy especially when 19k equals a whole lot of sex toys.

In short, in my honest and slightly mouthy opinion anyone who has bought this house is pandering to an inflated ego and needs to back the fuck away from buying stuff. Anyone thinking about buying the deeb house should go to Barnesworth Anubis' and buy something made by someone who actually looks like they give a shit about their work and customers, not just after making the quick buck.

Now I'm well aware this all prolly looks like I have an axe to grind with Asri and I'm all bitter and bitchy, well I kinda am. Le Cadre was a massive thing when I first started SL, and her shop was as busy as Armidi is these days, but my opinion is she sold out. Keeping prices sky high for stuff that now looks old and dated, reselling your business and charging the moon for something you didn't care enough to make sure was perfect? It's all about the money.

Bitchtastic

I have just returned from the shittest school concert known to man. Now a lot of you nice people out there will be aghast at me claiming the sweet and innocent voices of youth is shit. But hear me out. I have no problem with the children, the songs they sang were wonderful and I could listen to them for ages... When they got to sing that is. Cos oh no, they're head master in his infinite wisdom used the school christmas concert as a show case for him and his wife to bestow the poor parents with their karaoke stylee renderings of the crappest songs of yesteryear.

Seriously, this man would have been most likely welcomed at your average old fuckers working mens club, or perhaps a sagaish holiday camp where the patrons shorten each others lives pretending to be Frank Sinatra singing from inside a tuba. But no, this was a SCHOOL CONCERT. And his warbling wife... Puhlease... Love, you may have missed a glittering career in operatic singing due to the fact that you generally sucked at it, but that's no reason to take it out on the rest of us.

As I sat there wondering whether I could will my liver to implode thus allowing me to escape the cruelest of tortures I had a fleeting glimpse into the lives of these people, how their poor relatives most be tortured at family celebrations. Although they're prolly all fucked up and join in.

So in summary, school concerts are for school children and NOT for teachers who want to sing Neil fucking Sedaka.

Kthnxbai

Help meh!

So if y'all read my previous post about people who be begging and shit. Well... I've had a whole heap O' trouble from that. Yes my poor pixel arse is getting sued *sighs dramatically*

So in true style of keeping you updated here's the skinny.

Lieh Nessen: hello remenber me?
Kitty Lalonde: Sadly yes
Lieh Nessen: i dont liked to see
Lieh Nessen: my conversation in a websitye
Lieh Nessen: website*
Kitty Lalonde: Well I don't like to be harrassed by scabs in the middle of a shop, and neither do my friends
Kitty Lalonde shrugs
Lieh Nessen: ^^
Lieh Nessen: great
Lieh Nessen: i holp you press delete soon
Lieh Nessen: bye
Kitty Lalonde: 'kaay

This was about a week ago and then today I got...

Lieh Nessen: HEY
Lieh Nessen: I SAID FOR TAKE OFF THAT CONVERSATION FROM THE INTERNET
Kitty Lalonde: Did you?
Lieh Nessen: yes
Kitty Lalonde: Oh dear...
Lieh Nessen: better you take or you will get problems with the justice
Lieh Nessen: you cant put my name in a spot without my permission
Lieh Nessen: do you knew?
Kitty Lalonde: Ummmm
Kitty Lalonde: What justice? Is it anything like the Justice League?
Lieh Nessen: ...
Lieh Nessen: im not kidding dear
Kitty Lalonde: Well technically, it's not really your name
Lieh Nessen: is my caracter name
Kitty Lalonde: It's the name of your second life avatar, which, in theory is owned by linden labs
Lieh Nessen: so it tecgnically is my name
Kitty Lalonde: Well it'd be kinda hard for someone to take issue with really
Kitty Lalonde: And to be honest, if you hadn't been such a scab it wouldn't be there in the first place would it?
Kitty Lalonde shrugs
Lieh Nessen: i give you 1 week
Lieh Nessen: bye
Kitty Lalonde: Buh bai now!
Lieh Nessen: vai te foder por agora

Which was all terrifying as you may well imagine. Much shaken now I got a call from her 'Lawier'

Alessa Christen: Hello mrs. Lalonde
Kitty Lalonde: Hello?
Alessa Christen: Iam a Lawier
Alessa Christen: I came to talk about you website
Kitty Lalonde: Oh yes..
Alessa Christen: You could have problems with the justiçe... because you cant put name of people in a Website without their permission
Alessa Christen: I'm just here to advice you
Alessa Christen: So I hope you will clear that post...
Alessa Christen: Bye
Alessa Christen: Thank you for your attention :)
Kitty Lalonde: Well yes, I'm sure you can't (obviously ignoring the countless celebrities and other household names who have their names mention in websites on a daily basis) but it's not her name, it's an online moniker and therefore owned by linden labs, THEY however do have a policy on not posting conversations. However it's not for the whole web, just the second life site, and SL itself
Kitty Lalonde: So umm yeah! Have a nice day y'all
Alessa Christen: If you dont clear it in about 21 week, Lieh Nessen has the right to report it to the autorities
Kitty Lalonde: Okies
Alessa Christen: With her SL name someone can get her personal Details
Alessa Christen: Unless she give you permission to do what you did
Alessa Christen: Have a very nice day
Kitty Lalonde: Well okies, but I'm afraid I'm going to counter claim for misleading information
Kitty Lalonde: And general breaches of the trades description acts
Kitty Lalonde: And AR for harrassment
Kitty Lalonde: Both of you
Kitty Lalonde: Ta ra now!
Alessa Christen: Bye
Alessa Christen: I work with Law...
Alessa Christen: Better be carefull honey
Kitty Lalonde: Darlin' you can't even spell lawyer
Kitty Lalonde smiles
Alessa Christen: So sweet...

Meanwhile back at Kitty Lalonde is a slandering biatch HQ

Tiernan Serpentine: Oh hiya, I was just looking at your profile. There's a bit you need to change
Lieh Nessen: ?
Tiernan Serpentine: "please dont ask me for mony or beg for something"
Tiernan Serpentine: Thanks!
Lieh Nessen: do i know you??:S
Tiernan Serpentine: Yes you were begging me for money the other day
Lieh Nessen: a..
Lieh Nessen: can you go to ... can you dont molest me?
Lieh Nessen: ty
Tiernan Serpentine: You IM'd me dear, I didn't IM you the first time. I'm not molesting anyone just saying it's a bit naughty telling people not to beg you for money when you go around begging hehe
Lieh Nessen: wow great
Lieh Nessen: shut up now
Tiernan Serpentine: Okies, bye bye now!

That's all for now, as I wait to dodge the fearsome shadowy lawyer creatures and snipers bullets, I will leave you with some helpful advice.

If people try and skank a few L$ out of you, just orbit them. It's a lot less time consuming.

A tiny rant and something fun

*take deep breath* Basically... I'm kinda scoobied as to why someone, who has said that they will be unable to SL for technical reasons, even going so far as to place a donation box to raise money to fix said difficulties so they can return to SL. Then they apparently spend every day from then on going to the LAGGIEST PLACES IN SECOND LIFE.

Smells like horse shit to me but nevermind.


As promised summit fun, here's a little fun thing that lets you drive a teeny tiny (yellow) car all over the google maps. Harder than it looks (I spent five minutes on the A30 before realising I was going the wrong way) but muchos fun!

Enjoy!

Jumping to conclusions

One of the biggest causes for DRAHMA I found is probably the general misconstruedness of the whole thing. Yes you've know this person in SL for a whole month, yes you've emptied Linden balances together, laughing and cackling and receiving many raised eyebrows from passers-by. But then one slightly random comment throws the whole thing out of kilter.

It's all too easy to misread something, I mean I can't count the number of times that I've misread something in a book, and these things have been written and rewritten, and then edited, proofread, re edited, slung in a freezer for six months, removed, rewritten completely before being released on the general population at large. Ummm oh yeah I digress, but still, the point is you're not meant to misread books, but I still do (mebbe I'm thick, who knows). So when it comes to SL, with it's acronyms, typos, smiley faces and so forth, what hope do I have of not misreading stuff. You also have to take account of the variety of different languages and cultures in SL. In the uk we call each other twats and wankers as a term of endearment. But some people get the hump.

I dunno, I think I'm writing this as a word of warning to people, do not read between my lines, there's nothing there, anything there is generally not added for the benefit of anyone other than Tie. Don't apply standard rules to possible tones etc that I'm using because it'll be completely and hopelessly wrong. If you wanna think summit about a 'way' I might have said something, feel free. You wanna act on that? Step aside.

Ta!

In other news I seem to be writing for the Metaverse Messenger, please don't think I've forgotten Filth, I haven't, but in keeping with SL being a a fantasy world I'm a sort of workaholic (in a procrastinating lazy, foul mouthed sorta way).



LOOK!!!!!!!! It's a BEEDOG!!!!!!!!!! HAHA! Seriously check this shit out!

Pissed off start to blog

It all started with inventories. Mine and Tie's overflowing with crap that we don't wear/use/fornicate with. So we decided to flog it on to people with less discerning taste (some of the stuff was hideous) this went quite well, although we couldn't be arsed with most of it, or perhaps to ashamed to admit to linden spendage on some of the more retarded items, and deleted shed loads of things. What escaped the cull went in pretty boxes (I like making things pretty, leave me alone) and were happily put out for sale.

It all went swimmingly until I got an IM from a chick complaing that her cum stained face attachment (don't ask) wasn't in it's box. I couldn't find it and neither could she so I refunded her. Then she mentioned she'd bought loads of our stuff and when it arose we hadn't put everything out on sale she offered to make a deal on what was left. I refused and continued on my merry way. After telling Tie about it we checked her pro, and interestingly had a pick for a flea market. So off we trotted and there were some of our things we had sold to her, all up on the wall, for more than we sold it.

Now this pissed us off. No one would buy from a rummage sale or carboot and then put their findings up in a big shiny, badly textured shop, for resale. So I made an ickle sign, partially because I found it amusing, and partially because I was pissed off.


Anyhoo, the sign was up for nearly 2 days, a few people who were shopping had laughed at it, and that was about it. Then today I got an IM

reselling bint: is there a reason your slandering my name?
Me: Hello. You must be talking about the sign? We just put that up in case people had come to the sale earlier and seen an outfit they liked, then returned later. I hope you don't mind us advertising your market
(okay okay, not necessarily sensible but blah)
RB: i am reporting it to linden labs that is slander and a terms of service

Now I love the ToS with it's everchangingness and general hypocrisy. I read it everyday, and to be honest I couldn't find anything on 'slander' in it. Now the texture I used my be considered broadly offensive by most. But other than that I couldn't see her point.

There was some sort of kerfuffle because I hadn't mentioned any other people who had bought stuff at our sale for the same reason (to which I pointed out she'd drawn attention by striking deals) and then....

Me: I really can't see why your so upset, I don't understand why it's slanedr, I'm quite simply stating the truth as I see it
RB: your slandering me
Me: How?
RB: buy implying i rip people off
Me: You bought our stuff, and your selling it at higher prices, that's all I said
RB: and that is slander
Me: If you're not doing that then I'll take it down
RB: its not yours
RB: youdidnt create it

I was now utterly confused and had to look slander up in the dictionary in the hope that my early onset of dementia hadn't gotten worse.

slan·der /ˈslændər/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[slan-der]

1.	defamation; calumny: rumors full of slander.

2.	a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name.

3.	Law. defamation by oral utterance rather than by writing, pictures, etc.

–verb (used with object)

4.	to utter slander against; defame.

–verb (used without object)

5.	to utter or circulate slander.

So I couldn't see how that worked. The IM's continued thick and fast in which RB sited her RL difficulties for some unapparent reason, and continued with her ToS spiel, and I got incredibly bored by the whole thing until she finally stopped quacking at me.

So at the end of all this the sign stays, it was a bit mean but it amused me endlessly. As me missus so eloquently put it "From now on we'll just give away our old outfits to stop people like her making a quick buck"

*rant over*