Things we do when bored

[14:28] Tiernan Serpentine: Tum ti tum, lovely weather at the moment
[14:28] You: Indeed, did you watch Corrie earlier?
[14:28] Tiernan Serpentine: Oh yes, it was ace
[14:29] Tiernan Serpentine: I loved that bit where the bloke and the bird were arguing about the price of those tracksuits
[14:29] Kitty Lalonde nods "mmhmm"
[14:29] Tiernan Serpentine trills quietly on her picolo
[14:29] You: I laughed so hard Daves cock slid out of me arse and I nearly bent it double, he saw the funny side after though.. Once the swelling went down
[14:30] Tiernan Serpentine: Awww bless, did he have to go to hospital like last time? When he got his large intestine sucked into that vacuum cleaner while he was trying to fuck you with it?
[14:31] You: Nope, we just put some hot water on it and he went and sat in the garden, twenty minutes later he was right as rain and masturbating over the fence at the people in the bus queue
[14:32] Tiernan Serpentine beams in relief, "Oh that's great!"
[14:32] You: You're telling me, how's Ernie and his sub incision these days?
[14:33] Tiernan Serpentine: Oh he had an accident while he was grating some cheddar to stuff in my arse, there was blood everywhere but luckily it looks just the same as it did before
[14:33] You: Awww that's good, you must have been worried what with Mary and her arse tulip explosion
[14:34] Tiernan Serpentine: Nah, my tulip is under control these days, though I do have to be careful when wiping
[14:35] You: You should try quilted double velvet, it's soft as owt, and still manages to get those stubborn streaks off
[14:36] Tiernan Serpentine: Hmmm I dunno, I have a problem with nuggets and need to use the extra abrasive stuff