Thursday, 17 July 2008

Tricked into embarrassing myself... again!

Kitty "bitch" Lalonde told me this was a serious job application so I wrote it seriously (being desperate for money and willing to do anything) *sighs*. Please hire me and not her because she stole the interviewer's rubby ducky which was a treasured childhood toy.

SL Name:
Tiernan Serpentine

RL Age:

RL location and time zone:
United Kingdom (GMT)

What languages do you speak (please provide proficiency level)?
English, asking for bread and coffee level French, typo, gibberish

Normal weekend/weekday SL Online Hours:
12-4 pm SL time weekdays and longer at the weekends

When are you available to start working?


Have you ever danced before? If yes where?
Yes here and there, mostly at Ocean6 nightclub for a few months

Do you escort as well? If so, do you have regular clients?
Yes and no

Did you have any training? submission school or escort training?
I've had both submissive and escort training.

Have you ever had a leading position? or can you see yourself in such a position?
I'm not sure exactly what the question means, but I don't think so!

Why do you wanna work as a dancer/escort? fun? money? ect.
Mostly for fun though some shopping money is always appreciated.

Place a X next to any of the following services you offer as well as a number that reflects your SL or RL experience/skill (1 no experience, 2 so so, 3 good, 4 very good, 5 goddess):

Dancing X 5
Escort X 4
BDSM Dominant X 2
BDSM Submissive X 4
Fetish (e.g. showers, humiliation, etc) X 5!


How would you describe your personality?
Fun loving, flirtacious, generous, sometimes shy with a generally cheerful and welcoming disposition.

What are your major turn-offs?:
Anything particularly illegal involving children or dead people. Rude and unimaginative people.

What are your major turn-ons?:
Umm pretty much everything apart from those listed above! Mostly fetishes, kinky stuff, exhibitionism, strange insertions, bdsm....


Consider the following situation where you are entertaining a customer. How would you respond to the following suggestions/requests? Use more than one line if needed.

"Hey sexy! Wouldn't mind having you dance on my lap *grins*"
"Oh hi! I'd love to dance in your lap but you appear to have something there already. Is there space for me?"

A customer gives you enough to make your top disappear, emote the actual stripping.
/me's dark eyes gaze down invitingly at Berty and she slides her hands up over her smooth belly, fingers splayed and caressing her glistening skin, her touch intimate and loving. She gyrates langourously to the music and pushes her chest forward to present her breasts to Berty as the silky little top slithers down to the floor, falling into his lap with a dainty little kick of her toe.

You've been given a yellow rubber duck whilst dancing on your table. What do you do with it? Show off your emoting skills.
/me takes the duck with a small smirk of amusement, it's smooth yellow body glinting in the subdued light as she raises it to her lips to taste, her tongue flicking out over the duck's head and trailing down it's hard plastic back. The toy glistens with saliva as she draws it down her chest and belly and into the darkened valley between her warm, glistening thighs, leaving a trail of wetness in its wake.


Kitty Lalonde said...

So if I wanted to have you on your knees wearing my grans smock and a pair of fishing waders. At the same time I would be reading Bridget Jones Diary to you, backwards, whilst urinating on a cat... How much would it cost?

Tiernan Serpentine said...

*checks the pricelist* That particular service isn't listed on my list, what do you normally charge for that one?

Kitty Lalonde said...

Ooo bitchy!

I need to start making you lots of coffee and bacon sarnies don't I?

Tiernan Serpentine said...

Uh huh

Kitty Lalonde said...


Rob Danton said...

"Why do you wanna work as a dancer/escort? fun? money? ect."

That would be Electro Convulsive Therapy? Does it happen while you're dancing? OMG the electrode caps are soooo.... I dunno,,, like a swimming hat with wires - very sexy. What's the christmas bonus? A lobotomy?

How much to watch the operation while you dance on my lap wearing kitty's grans smock and the waders?

And how much with just one wader on?

You can pee on the cat if you like, it does nothing for me. Some people are weird.

Tiernan Serpentine said...

Usually I would direct your enqiries to the escort help desk, toll-free automated response service. But as my first prospective client I'd like to take a moment to personally address your queries.

The ECT service is fully inclusive and comprehensive with options. However staff lobotomy viewings are available only to private members (basic membership fee L$600 per annum, 'I R Escort' magazine included - quarterly).

Lobotomy lap dances, while remaining popular, have been discluded as a member service on grounds of health and safety.

One wader 50% off, mismatched waders 25% off.

Cat peeing is a gratuity.

Anything else?
*smiles seductively*